


Jane's Journey

by DoctorMonster



Category: Rizzoli & Isles
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship, Asexuality, F/F, lgtbq
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-29
Updated: 2015-03-29
Packaged: 2018-03-20 03:33:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3635046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoctorMonster/pseuds/DoctorMonster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jane is part of the one percent, this is her journey of accepting it. Mainly a character study on Jane with hints of Rizzles. Featuring Asexual-Jane.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jane's Journey

Sexuality was something that Jane never really thought of. When she was in elementary school, she was chubby so she got teased. She has an abrasive personality and it was worse as a child so she never really had a lot of friends then either.

When in middle school, she went from being average height and chubby to tall and lean. She got into sports so with practicing that and teaching her two little brothers that she was better at everything she had little time for crushes.

In high school, she was in the field hockey team so she was at the park a lot with Frankie, practicing. She was also in basketball and softball. In softball there is a joke that every girl on the team is a lesbian. Jane was teased for that too. She was use to it so she didn't let it bother her.

That same mentality followed her to college where she was still playing field hockey. She got in to lots of university's but no scholarships so she settled for the two year college next to home.

She knew that many people experimented in college but that was not for her. She had never been with anyone and to be honest, she hadn't wanted to either. She got hit on but she just never really wanted to be with someone in that way.

She dropped out half way through.

She knew that her family couldn't afford to keep playing for her college so she decided to go to the Boston Police Academy and be a cop. Jane liked the idea of protecting the people she cared about by keeping the scum of the earth off the streets and behind bars. She passed with flying colors. That made some of the people around her angry that she was almost a natural at this. The other officers-in-traning at the academy decided to mess with her by tripping her up at every chance they got. Jane wanted to get revenge but she knew that the best revenge would be for her to be better even after all of their tricks. That's what happened. Jane flew through the academy.

She got on the force and was a beat cop for about a year. Her mother tried to set her up with her friend's sons but they never worked out – maybe because Jane almost never showed up but she never told her mom that was why.

Everyone her age was hooking up at bars almost every night or already married. Jane liked the idea of marriage. It was two people saying that they were going to love one another and be with just the other person, forever. Jane didn't want to spend her life alone. She wouldn't mind to come home to someone or marrying someone, it was just the thought of the weeding night that got to her.

She didn't know why but she didn't want sex with anyone. Her friends and co-workers always came in from the weekend and said how great it was but Jane just didn't want it. She wasn't afraid of it or anything, there was just no desire there. She felt no sexual attraction to any one. Whether it be a model or someone on the street, nothing. There could be a naked man in her bed, begging for her to be with him and she would probably shoot him. If it was a woman, they where more attractive to her, natural beauty was something that always appealed to her, in the same position; naked in her bed, begging for her to join her but she wouldn't. She couldn't. She couldn't see herself doing any of that with anyone. She could like them fine as a person or even as someone to date but in the act of love, it just wasn't going to happen.

That is why she didn't want to date any of her mom's friend's kids, she didn't want to lead anyone on into thinking that she would to that with them and for them to find out that they never would. That and they where losers. Jane could pick someone to date if she really wanted to but again, she didn't want to lead anyone on. It wasn't fair to them. That was what happened in relationships, just never hers.

She worked her way up from being a beat patrol-man to a detective, becoming the youngest officer ever to be promoted to the rank of detective in BPD. She first worked as a detective in the vice unit, then later became the first female officer to work in the drug control unit, working undercover in DCU, spending much of her time dressed as a hooker.

It was around that time that she meet Maura. Sweet, Maura, she tried to pay for Jane's coffee when she was out of cash, all the while, dressed as a hooker. To keep up her image she had to be rude to Maura, who was just trying to be nice. Jane felt bad that she was forced to be rude but she could do nothing about it while undercover.

They met again when Jane was promoted to Homicide and could put the fishnets away.

Jane had never felt so connected to someone before, like she could be herself and Maura wouldn't judge her.

Her mother felt that it was time to set her up again. Jane decided to confront her again.

"Look ma, I really don't want to date anyone. I don't want to lead them on." Angela sighed.

"Jane, you will change your mind when you see the right guy, you will just know that you are meant to be with them." Jane cringed. She wasn't getting it.

"Ma, really, I don't think of anyone that way." Angela patted her on the back. Jane pulled away.

"I'm going for a walk." Jane almost ran out of the door.

_Was she broken?_

_Did she have something wrong with her?_

_Was she just weird?_

_Did everyone feel like this at one point or just her?_

_Was she the only person on the planet to feel like this?_

_Did she just need to get over it?_

_Suck it up and 'do the deed' like everyone else?_

_Would that 'fix' her?_

_Did she need to be fixed?_

_What if she really was the only one who did feel like this?_

_Was it really that weird to not have any interest in sex?_

_Would she ever find someone or would they force her into being with them?_

_Would anyone want to be with her once they found out that she wouldn't put out?_

_Was her worth tied up in her willingness to put out?_

To many questions made Jane's head swim. She sat down on a park bench.

_Could she get help for this?_

_Did she need help for this?_

Jane sighed. She was just going to go about life until she thought she found someone worth it. If she ever did. Jane hated that this would be something else that she would get teased about. Something to set her apart from everyone else. She felt like she was normal so why didn't everyone else?

* * *

Years passed and Jane felt comfortable telling Maura about all she felt. It wasn't something she liked to talk about but she knew that Maura wouldn't laugh at her. Maura knew what it felt like to be laughed at. Jane felt that she didn't need 'fixing', she felt that she was better than sex if someone liked her enough. When she told Maura that, Maura asked.

"Am I enough for you?"

Jane looked her friend in the eyes. She was serious. "Are you asking because you like me or because you don't think that I could do better and you just want to help " _fix_ " me?"

Maura grabbed Jane's hands. "I'm asking because I love you and I want you. I want you even if I never get sex out of you. I want any part of you that you are willing to give me even if that is just friendship. I love you as a best friend and that is forever but I'm in love with you and that wont go away, but it could be ignored if that's what you want."

"I'm in love with you Maura, but I don't want a physical relationship now and I don't know if I _ever_ will. I want you to know what your getting into."

Maura broke into a megawatt smile. "I know _exactly_ what I'm getting into. I will love you even if we get married and never have sex. I will never pressure you into sex if you don't want that. I'm in this for _you_ not sex."

Jane smiled. She found someone worth it. She didn't know what would happen in the future, if this was going to lead anywhere or somewhere amazing. She didn't know if she would ever have sex with Maura but it was a possibility. She was going to try her hardest to make this work with Maura even if it meant going out of her comfort zone.

* * *

It took time but Jane realized that she wasn't broken or any of those other things. She didn't need to be fixed. She was whole. She had to come to terms that yes, she was different, but so what? Who cares if someone doesn't like it? The only person who matters is the person she chose to spend her life with and what she thinks of herself. Nothing or no one else's opinions matter.

She is worth all the love that will come when she finds the one. She is not normal in the sense that she doesn't have biological urges but that doesn't matter.

Jane had to grow as a person, she had to mature, and realize that how other people saw her isn't how she is or should be. She needs to be exactly who she is. If she didn't like sex or didn't want it, that was her business and no one else's.

Jane Rizzoli is part of the one percent of the population. She is an asexual and she is okay with it. It took her almost thirty years to become to terms with it, but now that she has accepted it, she has flourished, she has become happier.

Jane is happy with her life.


End file.
